Lesson Learnt

Psalms 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds

Emotions unblocked. I have been walking through puddles and puddles of my own. But its excepted once you have given your heart to someone you love. It was initiated on my behalf but he confirmed. Indeed, there has been a lesson learnt. Thankful for the 1.5 years but thankful we've reached the terminal. After giving SO much with no reciprocation, and having one who was already distant, there was no more crossing at the optic chiasm. Its more like were on 2 different anatomical parts, him being at the foramen magum and I'm at the supraorbital notch... we werent even on the orbit together!

Valued lessons
§Trials and tribulations of failed relationships are necessary in order for us to grow. I have grown emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

§This was a testing ground for the relationship I'm ultimately meant to succeed in. Its preparation for a stronger union in the future. 

§  The lessons learnt will be the key architect in the design and creation of my approach to future relationships. And YES to a crossing on the nasal side of the optic chiasm. Speaking it!

*** Give benefit of the doubt. Allow for warrant before (...) Respect wishes. Talk through. 

*** Source/ root found. Recognize and fight. Rationalize.

"The spirit speaks to us in many ways.  Discomfort and discontent in any area of your life is a call from God to examine that aspect of yourself"

Rapid winds picked up when Elleigh's Blog/ happiness was invented. I held on strong and was providing a stern shoulder to lean on; however, there was no one doing the leaning.

Learning living growing loving. Thinking positively, still smiling, and excited when paradise comes.

I have come to realize that only He can fill the void that I attempted to fill with him/her and this/that. 

Giving my constant calibration and metamorphosis towards equilibrium and balance.... one thing that remains constant is that I look good! hehe.

P.S. I've found peace and it feels so good ;-)

Minding

Monkey Mind - thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit, and howl. From the distant past to the unknowable future. Mind swinging wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined.

Main problem w MM - an emotional attachment to something that invades all thoughts. Obsessive worry - results in blowing a more positive mood - remembrance of an angry/unhappy moment ----- start to feel bad, lonely, and mind takes over.

KNOW - You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave of your emotions. 


Be happy, carefree, and dont worry. Now is the time to take advantage of life and emotions. Know the power and embody the presence of NOW.

There's a reason they call God a presence - because God is right here, right now. KNOW HIM
Never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do it, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong instead. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using to (....) you'll have vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. The universe will then be allowed to rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed :-)

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. Thats where you need to go".

EAT PRAY LOVE 

PATIENCE

Patience is a trait I continuously seek to have embedded in my spirit.

Patience brings about perseverance, rationale, a sound mind, integrity, and a heart thats not easily angered. Patience with loved ones, school decisions, and life decisions. 

Ecclesiastes 7:8-11

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Could patience have anything to do with the lack of sustainability in black marriages?

According to Hill Harper's The Conversation  

"Patience is a secret weapon that forces deception to reveal itself.  

If many of my female friends focused on a man’s chacter first and foremost, they would end up wasting a lot less time with men who seem to fit the model they want but don’t possess the character to build a real relationship with them"

In his book, he discusses how many Black women feel that there are not many good Black men available. In contrary, he says women pass by good Black men everyday but refuse him because he is not wealthy or does not have the means to support our material wants. He believes there are plenty of good Black men available who possess the core values such as kindness, integrity, patience, and family values. He also makes references to our First Lady, Michelle Obama, who was an accomplished attorney who mentored President Obama when he was a first year law student.

Is there truth to that statement? Are women stuck on immediate benefits and wanting instant gratification in dating someone? Are women not exercising patience to explore the development of a friendship first. What about the value of education. Is it too much for women to value education and want someone who is equivalent or better educationally? What about being open to dating other races and holding ALL MEN to certain standards?

Tough one...

Finding your Thang

No one should live a life full of stress, sadness, frustration, etc. No one should have feelings of inadequacy or incompetence. My approach - Live Well. Laugh Often. Love Much.

At a time of pressure, find your thang! Whatever you need to do to cope with whatever the situation is. If you have seen the light it some point even with the storms, keep it going. Dont give up. Find an outlet, hobby, or book. Workout, mediate, pray. 

You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight. No matter how frustrated, sad, or pressured. 

Find your Thang!

Your (thang) is about self – mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise.  Only from that point of even-mindedness will the true nature of the world (and yourself) be revealed to you. 

Eat Love Pray

It's perfectly acceptable to ask for help and guidance along the way.

Proverbs 15:22
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed 

I want to be your everything

Jamie Fox tribute to Serena Williams at the ESPY awards in 2004 was pure hilarity! He wants to be her tennis ball lol

Jamie Foxx serenades Serena Williams at the ESPY Awards - Tennis Ball

Using the same analogy as Jamie Foxx...
Can I have someone who wants to be my track clothes, my spikes (back in the day), my pencil, my contacts, my glasses, my phoropter, my pillow, etc?

Can this be done willingly? Happily? W Pleasure? Without reluctance? Ungrudgingly? Can we grow together standing on His foundation?

The not so good times

**Kenosha & Zion, WI**
Arriving here to see my beloved. She's weak yet smiling and in great spirits. I love her and admire her strength, humility, and optimism. One who puts God first will remain in great spirit despite trials and tribulations. She exemplifies that to the fullest. Gooooo Dorsey!!!!!

I, myself, am remaining in high spirits as well. Although I wish to have my friend now. At a time of dolefulness, vulnerability, fright, lack of control, and cold weather (arg)... I am without. I wish to have my friend at such a fragile state. But away you are. You're of great distance in all lights. All I can do is imagine you near. As I keep saying in a repetitive cycle, time will tell.

Nevertheless, theres great strength being displayed. Especially for my beloved.
But geeze, the weather up here is no joke, 32˚ = the high! And I woke up to all this snow!

James 1:2-8

Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, you gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 

A lesson that has been learnt is to value the "not so good times", learn from it and grow. Be thankful and express gratitude for everything. Stumbling blocks serves as liter in ones pathway that can be turned into a stepping stone. Have faith. Display NO doubt. Learn. Grow. Love. Life is filled with many lessons. And theres a power in the tongue. Theres a power in prayer. Speak. Praise. Ask. Rejoice in sufferings- whether its dealing with illness, school, rejection, relationships, instability, etc. Everyone's definition of trials and tribulations are difference.  However, it all leads to perseverance, maturity, completion, and wisdom should you believe and stay faithful. 

Guidebook of life. The Bible. 

***I'm so proud of her. If I never knew the definition of a strong praying woman, I do now! You're awesome!! Muah a million :) 

Love = Paradise

Love is paradise ---- with some tropical storms, hurricanes, and tornadoes every now and then.

Approaching love...
Well worded in The Conversation

Approach love the same way you'd approach taking a vacation. You've heard how great it is and you want to go. You've been looking forward to this trip all your life. Of course, you're going to pack accordingly. But even though you know where you were going, you heard about the weather, and you came prepared, you still get caught off guard when you step off the plane. Excessive heat there. That first couple of days you might even wonder if you made a mistake, but you really want to see this historic beautiful place that everyone's been talking about, so you dont get back on the plane. You stick it out. Thats what you have to do with love; you have to stick it out. Your reward for staying is the chance to take in amazing sights you'll never forget; taste incredible foods you've never heard of before; go on remarkable adventures and learn things about yourself that leave you in constant state of wonderment. 


Love is paradise - paradise in a warm weather locale. Stick it out. It's soo worth it.

I have learned in more ways than one the beauty of love. Defining it as paradise with some unexpected storms is fitting. However, working on the reduction of the storm is important so you can see more of the tropical island. Reduce the storms--- maybe a few rain drops every now and then.

Know- reduction comes from recognition, comprehension, identification, and then prevention. AND ultimately elimination. But that might be on an unknown utopic island to NEVER have any rains, winds, turbulence, storms, etc. But how you handle it and deal with it is the prize. Stick it out. Its worth it. If you know its good... stick it out!

CLICK LINK
Cosby Show - Happy Anniversary (Funny-- hehe)

Yes, I am no where close to marriage. But the celebration of a long standing love is amazing! One of my favorite shows, The Cosby Show, honoring 49th wedding anniversary. Boy thats beautiful!!

The total package (Mine)

The total package entails: 

A Christian man - one whose priority is to please God, has strong values and morals, high ambitions, family oriented, humble, great personality, humorous, attractive (nice smile), faithful, honest, and trustworthy.

One who will appreciate intelligence but still find their partner sexy and desirable and show it. Someone who one can argue with without feeling patronized. Someone dependable.....

Ok I'm trying to avoid a list. I'm not encouraging lists, but realistic expectations. 

However... someone who can sing is a bonus lol. jk jk

But... Jamie Fox sure does make me LOVEEEEE the Brandy Bunch song!! lol

Jamie Foxx - Brandy Bunch

Happiness

"The truth about life is that we're all alone, but when somebody loves you, right, that experience is shared. Love is the only real connective tissue that allows you to not live and die by yourself. It gives you purpose beyond you"

~Will Smith

I find it extremely important to live and perform acts of selflessness. It leaves me with a feeling of such satisfaction. Thats why I have chosen a career of optometry. However, the act of selflessness and helping others doesn't just involve your profession. I want a love that is constantly trying to please me, while I'm constantly trying to please him, as we both grow stronger in our faith. It should be done in a way that I'm enthused and excited to make him happy as he will for me... eventually becoming effortless.  

As stated in I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast. it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

My new approach. Act selflessly, trust, and love with purpose. God does no wrong- TRUST, and value everything that happens in life----- for all things happen for a reason. Love Him. Trust Him. Adore Him. Pray. Ask. Seek. 

STEP 1: Looking in the Mirror

"We need more light about each other. Light creates understanding, understanding creates love, love creates patience, and patience creates unity" Malcolm X

Question: Do you...

• Make accusations and jump to conclusions that aren't warranted?
• Assume the negative? Initially, you have a bad approach. 

Search for the root of those things causing damage in relationship. Childhood? Rearing? Parents relationship? Understanding is important. Understanding will allow you to be extra conscientious, and sensitive to the situation or the things that causes this type of thought and therefore allow for prevention.  We know that we cant eliminate all doubts and fears from flaring up from time to time, but be able to identify them, deal with them, and get past them. Thats key in sustaining love!

Remember what it is thats wanted!

A great loving healthy relationship. Being fruitful in numbers. Remaining in an everlasting love. Having God at the forefront of the relationship. Obeying His commands, remaining in his love. Building and growing in a relationship based off a concrete foundation. Starting with a friendship.

John 15:12-17 

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit - fruit that will last - and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other. 

How Beautiful!!!!!!!!